Sometime during the past ten days I read a Tweet where the writer said that they had literally fallen out of bed. Literally. Which meant only one thing: She immediately felt compelled to tell her friends and followers that she had fallen out of bed. Big time news.
Of course there must have been some rationale for this, right? Perhaps her goal was to create a kinship among people who had also fallen out of bed. If enough people responded that they too had fallen out of bed she might have been compelled to create a Facebook fan page, a Twitter handle (@FloorFinders), a LinkedIn group for professionals who have fallen out of bed, and/or a blog detailing research conducted by leading universities on why people fall out of bed. What a great way to use social media tools!
I too have fallen out of bed – but I’m an edge sleeper. But Twitter about it? Then shoot tweets back and forth – some RTs, DMs, and lest we forget about those tangential vectors whose base is in these idiotic meanderings but now have morphed into Obama, BP, and American Idol – to further add to the social septic pool? No way…talk about a demon seed.
Writing a blog post that includes mentioning falling out of bed is bad enough but I’m only using it to make a point…it’s different.
That anyone would even remotely care about someone falling out of bed is anathema to me; nowhere in all my brain synapses are there any individual synapses that feel the urge to tell the world that I have found the floor with my body. This is worse than Seinfeld and Barcelona combined; “falling out of bed” is a poster tweet that epitomizes the word banality. It is about nothing.
There are 16 billion plus Tweets out there, 400 million active Facebook users, and obviously a collective of hundreds of millions of other items associated with other social media platforms…and it all reminds me of the “social” game “Post Office” where “communication” replaces thinking. Very “Fahrenheit 451” in that the utopia of clear, free human thought is being replaced by a hidden dystopian movement where followers parrot out the messages of people whom they believe to be influential.
Yet it is important to write about it because “information” like this – really nothing more than orts of shit hanging around one’s bumhole – has clogged up our conscious airways and found its way into social media platforms and labeled – by the writer and their lemming followers – as items that are worthy of mass broadcast or scholarly discussion.
We LOL and ROFLMAO upon reading about people’s foibles and FMLs and send these morsels of the mundane to our friends, all the while claiming we are social networking and building relationships, brands, and goodwill towards men. We’ll find an article that claims something and post it as a paean to our prowess of cutting and pasting then implore our friends to retweet, digg-it, reddit, or generally speaking, stick it up their asses and let it ferment until it eventually turns into a sweet tasting wine.
There are 80 million or so people on Farmville who believe they’re cultivating pig shit when in fact they’re part of a lead generation scam. Did I write “scam”? So sorry – I meant social networking and relationship building.
Where is the value in all this? Why is it so difficult to tell the “world” what you really think or feel about an issue?
Why do you insist on polishing turds?
The Recruiting Inferno 
It’s the new telephone only it’s a global conference call. I think those without good self awareness or that have social awkwardness are prone to post social faux paxs..
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Twitter is a digital cocktail party of (mostly) strangers. As in real life, when people get together informally they talk about the banal, they use self-deprecating humour, they make outrageous statements to get a rise out of somebody, they get involved in heated debates about issues they actually don’t care a lot about, and sometimes they try to appear wiser, funnier, more interesting. Despair if you must, or just accept it as it is – Twitter is human nature, writ large, in 140 character sound bites.
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This post reminded me of that MythBusters episode where they ACTUALLY polished a turd. :P It was funny but I had to ask…why?
Not sure I understand the logic of it, either…I read a Tweet the other day from a nice lady named @MarilynSanti that the average American attention span is 2.7 seconds. If your business or chances for employment depended on that…wouldn’t you rather post something worthy of their attention? Falling out of bed may be great if you’re some kind of stunt double for a physical comedy…but I’m not sure how that can be of interest to the rest of the world. Then again, that’s just me.
Karen, The Resume Chick (on Google or Twitter for questions, comments, and violent reactions)
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@Karla I’ve read many an “analysis” that likens social media based content as space junk – like trying to cross a road during rush hour
@Karen the difference is that the social media cocktail party is never ending. I’m not despaired at all – I like pushing buttons to see if the reactions can lead to points of discussion that can actually make a difference. But when peeps stand their ground when stating that Twitter, FB, etc. really can change the world, it reminds me of shopping at a dollar store for a diamond ring or a flea market for a Picasso…
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Well, speaking as someone who rather enjoys banality from time to time – tweeting about falling out of bed is not only a waste of space (bandwidth?) but just plain stupid. Why broadcast to the world that you’re not the brightest bulb? Because you’re lonely in Idaho (Nebraska, et al)?
Good grief. Now I’ve really seen (read) it all.
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@READS Inquiring minds want to know… I suppose many people want to demonstrate that they can write for the National Enquirer
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Love it Steve, as you knew i would, being one who is less than reserved about stating what i think . Somewhere in the not so distant past i likened the internet to a sewer of human waste with a few chunks of relevant information floating in it. The problem being who has the time or inclination to bob in a sewer for those few chunks.
Karla is probably on point that it’s like one of those stand up , plastic smile cocktail parties full of banal, nicey nice, uninteresting comments.
I quit going to those years ago so albeit i check in on Twitter once in a while when i’m bored or to check the local weather forecast, i have about checked out on Twitter. I am cutting down my follow list as this evolves. Each time someone i am following posts something like the
I fell out bed poster, zap they are gone.
People who spend their time running around the internet looking for something to link to in the hopes that they can become interesting are nothing but drop shippers of their own opinion. So as you say, why not just state your own opinion them prepare to defend it.
Another of my thoughts is that Twitter is a connection crutch for those who do not have a life or connections in the real world or who can not stand to be by themselves to have an independent thought or a period of enjoying some solitude. Reminded of small children who can not play alone ,have a constant friend around or make up a “play like friend”.
Or maybe we are becoming just too lazy to pick up the phone or write a personal email.
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@Sandra I can’t wait until I start reading resumes from social media experts whose accomplishments include “Increased number of followers by 82.6% over a three month period including a 112% increase in retweets”
Well gag me with a spoon
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Did notice one tweet in response to something like this that made me laugh.
Tweeter said, “It is really hot here today”
@funnyperson came back with. “No shit, so what, who cares, why tweet the obvious”
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@Sandra I read a tweet about one hour ago who said that she had found some Neosporin from 2005 and wondered whether she should toss it…
Isn’t that like having a container of “cheesy” milk in one’s fridge and wondering if it’s ok to use it on your coffee?
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We’re all publishers now. Suddenly we have this power to broadcast to the world. Think of it. Mass media has been democratized. Some of us know how to use this power (buy my ebook!) and some of us, well, we fall out of bed.
Just like any other revolution the cream will rise and the turds will evaporate. You know what I’m saying. In the meantime, @clueless falling out of bed is hella more interesting than American Idol or Real Housewives of Twitter (ooh. snap. call my agent!)
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@Carmen while I agree that mass media has undergone substantive shifts in how it’s delivered, the simple act of “publishing” doesn’t make it news or newsworthy. Cream may rise to the top – there sure seems to be less of it these days that makes it past 15 minutes – but turds are like spent nuclear fuel rods that really never go away. They are the suppositories in the Internet’s repository…
I suppose some might find @clueless amusing, insightful or worthy of spreading her news (kind of like fertilizer on a barren field) but then again some people are into S&M.
But the Real Housewives of Twitter? Do we call them Twits? Uh, oops…
BUY CARMEN’S eBOOK!!!!!
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Guilty! Yes, I am guilty of posting mundane banality. I would NEVER post about falling out of bed, or post about my cat’s bowel habits, or that my husband wanted me to pick a tick out of his chest. (Yes, I’ve seen this stuff posted too.) I have a life, but throughout the day it’s fun to sign in to twitter and just sit back and laugh….some people are funny. Sometimes we just have to sit back and scratch our heads.
What irritates me most are the 4 square updates. One follower posts every day that he is at his company’s support center – think I’m going to un-follow him and others who constantly tell me where they are eating dinner or shopping for groceries.
Bottom line is not everyone is going to put out perfect value adding tweets all the time – but it’s still fun when you’re in the mood.
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@Brenda No doubt some people are funny beyond the definition of the word; I’m not talking about people who mix up their melange of media. I know who you’re talking about re:ticks and not only is she is one of the funniest peeps I know but she adds significant value on other channels.
People who are balanced don’t bother me; the one’s who spew invectives, meal contents, where they are now (yes, the foursquare types), etc., I liken to a q-tip in subcompact car lolling in the left lane at 50 mph during rush hour. You know how this feels…
I would feel better about “social” ‘media if people were to let others know how they feel on an issue and engage in some type of debate. There’s value in this. But simply plopping it out there is polishing a turd.
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If falling off a bed was such a boring tweet or topic of conversation…. why then did you write an entire article regarding it? :)
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“Writing a blog post that includes mentioning falling out of bed is bad enough but I’m only using it to make a point…it’s different.”
@Latisha sometimes even the benign and the mundane can be used to make a point
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I just thought it was funny that you repeated it over and over and over in your article and went on and on about it vs. a small mentioning of it to get your point across. That’s all. ;)
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So do I but jeez can’t I catch some slack over a little old rant? ;)
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I’m thinking your site should be called “Recruiting Curmudgeon”… I say that lovingly.
I’ve always personally felt that social media’s best use was to reach out to friends and family – those folks who would probably get a laugh out of you falling out of bed in the morning. But like any technology, droves of people have adopted it [social media] to do virtually, well, everything. So I believe we’re in the beginning stages of finding out just “what” social media can do “well” as opposed to “poorly.”
Not everything you say, think, or do will be amazingly wonderful. Sometimes, the banal shows you’re human. Sometimes, the banal shows we can revel in the simplicity and the oddity that is life. But I agree with you, Steve: that joy in the banality doesn’t always need to tweeted. And anyone who actually lists increasing followers as some kind of measurable deliverable on a resume should be shot.
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@Hyland Curmudgeon? This old fella will kick your ass next time we have coffee ;)
My point here was to write about a potential endemic as opposed to a tome bashing Twitter. Communication has taken a beating – we’ve spoken about this Jon – as a result of social media; I simply want to know what you think – is that so bad??
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Ah, all right…. yes, I do agree communication has taken a beating. Sort of. Here’s why the “sort of.” Because all of this useless noise – the “orts of shit” – has been around since time immemorial. Fortunately, most of those Klingons never made their way into our ears because social interaction was limited. Even with the telephone, you weren’t calling random people to tell them what you thought about things.
The Internet, and of course Twitter, have given a planet-sized megaphone to these folks so they can rain their shit from the high heavens. Oye…
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Touché Latisha – These individuals provide material for critics =)
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No doubt the material value is high but I’d rather talk about being a vegan than being a dolt who fell out of bed…
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I will give you a bit of slack… it just happens to be the one and only writing I have ever read of yours and kinda felt like you stole some of my brain cells away! hahaha (Sorry I had to add that in) :) (Smiley faces make sarcasm acceptable)
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You know we love you, Steve!
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