13 comments on “I Wanna Be the CEO of BP

  1. Steve,

    Most people feel they have “crossover” skills and upon reading certain job postings, they scratch their heads and think to themselves, “I can do this. If the right person reads between the lines on my resume, maybe they will call me?”

    Who knows what motivates a person to apply for jobs they are not qualified for. In my experience of reading high volumes of resumes coming in via ATS’s, 68.4% of them were not qualified. Sometimes you have to consider the JD itself, they can often be misleading too.

    No. I’ve never done this. Not me.

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    • 68.4% ? lol have you been reading my advice on using numbers???

      IMO what really motivates most is hope. Sometimes this is all we have…

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  2. There are probably as many reasons as there are people applying for something they not only don’t fit but can’t even read the job description.
    1. They are filling their unemployment requirements.
    2. They think if you have one job open you might have something else. If they only knew how fast we hit the delete button even if they might fit something else. That’s not the way to troll for jobs. If they say, “i don’t fit this if you have something else i do fit please call.” I will read the resume. Otherwise, delete.
    3. They really believe that the job description doesn’t mean anything because their superior skills qualify them for brain surgeon, astronaunt, or God SJ if somebody would take the time to train them cause they are a fast learner.
    4. They like to fuck with recruiters because they are unemployed, spending too much time on the net and everybody else in the world is tired of hearing them bitch about the raw deal they got, nobody appreciates that they can do anything given a chance, they are mad at over 300 recruiters because nobody can place them so why not screw with a couple hundred more while they have time.
    5. They are just damn stupid, there are a lot of Darwin award finalists out there.
    6. The wife or parent is sending out the resume cause by god she can find them a job since they just are not applying for everything they should.
    “Thank you Ethel, your husband is probably a great CPA, he doesn’t know jack about molecular diagnostic labs.” Yes i know one of the requirements was budget oversite but the first requirement ,that little thingy about a PHD in Molecual Genetics has to be met before we get to the budget piece of the pie.”

    Here’s the bottom line kids. If you were going to bake a cake ,you didn’t have any flour or sugar but you had butter and milk would you dump the butter and milk in a pan stick it in the oven and call it a cake?
    That’s why you don’t fit this job. It takes all the ingrediants. A job description is like a receipe. You may be able to leave out one of those little things like an eighth of a teaspoon of something but the things that require a cupfull have to be there.

    I applied for a job i didn’t fit once. Unfortunately i got it, secretary to five advertising sales reps and backup to the gal who spotted the logs for a TV station. Heavy typing required. I was an accountant who couldn’t type over 30. I came to work at five in the morning, left at 7:30, came back at 8:00 with all the other folks, left at 5:00, drove around the block and came back to work until 10:00. Did not see the sun for 7 months. It was a red letter day when the business manager left and i got the job.
    There are worse things than not getting a job one is not qualifed to do. Just wait until you get one of those puppies and you get to live with it.

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    • Oh Sandra, you need to blog (or rant, which I’m certain is your preference).

      1. What’s bad about filling their unemployment requirements is that the bozos in the unemployment offices think there’s nothing wrong with this practice.
      2. If we had more jobs open, people would know about them.
      3. Well….job descriptions really do mean bupkiss.
      4. If they really wanted to mess with us, they’d file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau. You know how bad this industry really is ;)
      5. Remember the movie Soylent Green – some jobseekers could be used for that purpose…
      6. So behind every successful male job seeker is a surprised mother-in-law?

      Jobseekers applying for jobs that they simply have no business applying to reminds me of dogs chasing a bus: What happens when one day they finally “catch” one?

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      • My Dear Steve,
        As to blogging ( or ranting as the case may be). It’ my observation that there are about three /four kinds of blogs.

        1. How to’s – This is how i do it and i’ve been a recruiter for just long enough to be dangerous so i’ll reinvent the wheel and tell you that everything is dead and nobody knows how to do it but me.

        2. the Sales ptich – Everything is dead except what i am selling and lordy, lordy do i have a new gizmo that will make you rich by Friday if you will sign up for the rest of your life or buy my software that does about 40 things you don’t need and only one or two of the things you do need and of course you can hire a computer operator to manage the mess.

        3. Narcissist at Large – I, yours truly, myself can tell you how to ace an interview by being a world class lying puke. Inform you that you are an unethical, law breaking criminal who does not have my superior educational background or stellar ability and you have no idea who i think i am so don’t dare tell me you think i am full of shit as a Christmas turkey the week before the holiday. It’s my right of free speech so how dare you say anything i don’t like or i will delete your comment.

        4. Those of us who like to stir up some stuff by talking about 1,2 and 3.
        Have a propensity to use words like, “hogwash”, “bad journalism”, “i’d disagree with you but i hate to slap a cripple”.

        My style tends to lean to the #4 which makes the pursed lip, proponents of propriety and politial correctness spin off into diatribes of righteous jaw craps that even Mydol can’t cure. Or the alternative of making the unbalanced, ego driven crazies reach a fever pitch of whatever affliction they were born with or developed.

        So, not wanting to spend productive time (albeit i enjoy it) sending the monkey poo tossers into spam like streams of vitriol. I will , with your kind permission just drop by from time to time to schelp a few choice remarks on your blog that should be funny if one is bright. :)

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  3. I was once asked by a client to apply for a Sr. HR Manager position, which I found quite flattering, but nothing ever came of it. That’s about it.

    I’d agree, Steve, that hope is probably a huge factor for these people rather than self-aggrandizing. Believe me, I know the latter – it’s a constant refrain of “Everything you can do, I can do better” – and searching for a job is probably the most frustrating thing you can do in your life. In that frustration, we sometimes throw caution to the wind and apply for anything and everything we can.

    Though I agree with Sandra that there are probably some very pissed off job seekers who just want to share the “love” with recruiters.

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    • Great Jon – you’ve distilled job search down to show tunes.

      The only thing more frustrating than job search is trying to convince the person you love that you’re not an asshole when in fact you’ve been an asshole but you’re not really an asshole…

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  4. I’m tellin you Jonathan, if i get much more love shared with me when i try to tell unqualified candidates why they don’t fit , i am going to start wearing love beads and saying peace out oh pissed off one. I am not a racist. Believe it or not i can’t tell what color you are or if you weigh 400 pounds from an email. If i could , believe me i would be burning incense and giving tarot readings.

    I want to help , i really, really do but begging me to send your resume to my client when you don’t have the background they are looking for is an exercise in abject rejection for both of us. You may not care if you get hit in the chops with a big “what the hell are you thinking about” but i hopefully have to go back to the well sometime in the future.

    My take Steve is that there is a great difference between hope and false hope. If a candidate fits the first three requirements that’s hope. If they fit the last three requirements and can’t spell the first three, that’s false hope. Nothing is as self defeating as false hope. I counsel candidates to think twice before they set themselves up for false hope. Applying for something that is not a fit will many times knock out a candidate for a job with the same company that they are fit for in the future.

    If i could wave a magic wand and create a job for every body who needs or wants one i would have done it years ago. Sometimes i can because i don’t send unqualified candidates as a general rule. When that person comes along that i really think can do a job that they don’t fit i have a higher success rate of getting them on the bus.

    If i get an unqualifed resume with a two line email that says. Help, i don’t fit this job but i need some help. I will read it and try. If a candidate tells me i am a jackass and don’t understand that their skills will cross reference, recruiters are jerks and get in the way. I can promise they just knocked themselves out of the database of good candidates. My clients are not looking for insulting assholes..to anybody.

    If i haven’t made a placement in three weeks you and i are in the same boat buddy. the only difference is that you can draw unemployment and i can’t.

    Brenda, they are not a joke. that’s real world stuff that happens more often than i can tell you. :)

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    • From “An American President”

      Lewis Rothschild: People want leadership, Mr. President, and in the absence of genuine leadership, they’ll listen to anyone who steps up to the microphone. They want leadership. They’re so thirsty for it they’ll crawl through the desert toward a mirage, and when they discover there’s no water, they’ll drink the sand.

      President Andrew Shepherd: Lewis, we’ve had presidents who were beloved, who couldn’t find a coherent sentence with two hands and a flashlight. People don’t drink the sand because they’re thirsty. They drink the sand because they don’t know the difference.

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  5. We met in the lobby I was carrying a poster at the time and you were kind to have coffee with me, on Broadway.

    Your recent article makes a great point. What about the other side of the coin, for someone who has so many qualifications that they cannot find placement, because HR is either afraid, or can’t believe, or thinks theyare over qualified, or while they have the experience and wisdom, do not have the portfolio?

    Would love to chat with you, about placement, if you have a moment.

    Kind regards,
    Charlie
    585 217 2191

    Like

    • Steve would love to hear from you; need your capable assistance and placement expertise.

      Kind regards,
      CP
      585 217 2191

      Like

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