The Recruiting Inferno

Some articles serve no purpose other than to cause one to utter, “Huh” aloud (but not too loud). This was one of them for me – words without an English equivalent. However, since this is the Recruiting Inferno, there’s always a recruiting equivalent…

Zhaghzhagh (Persian). The chattering of teeth from the cold or from rage. If ever there was an apt equivalent in recruiting, zhaghzhagh is what jobseekers feel upon attempting to apply to a job through most companies’ ATS as well as their response to having not received a job offer upon completion of the 6 hurdles, 18 interviews and 57 hoops through which they had to navigate just to get to the point of rejection. Zhaghzhagh…

Yuputka (Ulwa). A word made for walking in the woods at night; it’s the phantom sensation of something crawling on your skin. In recruiting, this is what many recruiters feel after meeting someone for an interview. Folks, as tough as this might be to be digest, the industry can offer many stories about people who inch close to your face while staring without blinking; of those with breath so bad it could curl steel; of anger so palpable that you begin to think about how quickly you can dial 911. Of course, as jobseekers, it’s also the same feeling you get when you just know that there’s no possible way you could ever work for this person. Yuputka…

Slampadato (Italian). Addicted to the UV glow of tanning salons? The day I interview someone whose skin has the same color and texture as a Thanksgiving Day Butterball is the day I retire. Slampadato…

Luftmensch (Yiddish). There are several Yiddish words to describe social misfits; this one is for an impractical dreamer with no business sense – literally, an air person. In recruiting, we see these all the time; generally these are jobseekers who apply to jobs that are in no way, shape or form associated with their skill sets, like financial analyst applying to an engineering job, or an admin assistant looking to become the head of digital marketing. Behind much of the incongruity between the jobseeker and the job are two factors: One, unemployment insurance “requirements” (have to show activity); and two, the unfortunate belief that recruiters and hiring managers are effective at “seeing” talent and will be able to find the jobseeker a more appropriate position. Now that I wrote that, I can easily see the degree of Luftmenchia in recruiting and job search. Oy vey…

Iktsuarpok (Inuit). You know that feeling of anticipation when you’re waiting for someone to show up at your house and you keep going outside to see if they’re there yet? This is the word for it. It’s also the word for an interview “No Show”. Who knew?

Cotisuelto (Caribbean Spanish). A word that would aptly describe the prevailing fashion trend among American men under 40, it means one who wears the shirt tail outside of his trousers. Of course in terms of the jobseeker, this also extends – or drops – below the belt line. I think I’ve seen more than my fair share of mid-butt-drooping trousers. Yes, the shirt-tail-hanging, mid-butt-drooping interview outfit. Next…

Pana Po’o (Hawaiian). “Hmm, now where did I leave those keys?” he said, pana po’oing – it means to scratch your head in order to help you remember something you’ve forgotten. Happens quite a bit during an interview when the candidate is asked to answer performance questions rather than the banal ones whose practiced answers can roll off their tongues. I will ask about performance – how you do things; I won’t – never never, never – ask you about your strengths and weaknesses. I want to see you Pana Po’o just to see how you think under pressure…

Gumusservi (Turkish). Meteorologists can be poets in Turkey with words like this at their disposal; it means moonlight shining on water. Ever have a perfect interview? You know – the one that doesn’t feel like work? The one in which neither side has to struggle or make up stuff? The one where both know that the search is over. This is the word for it…

Vybafnout (Czech). A word tailor-made for annoying older brothers; it means to jump out and say boo. Great recruiters do this all the time – these are questions for which there is no possible way to have “studied” a “right” answer. These are cognitive questions that tap into your lateral thinking abilities – situations where an answer (there are many) is not intuitive. The reason the word seems difficult to pronounce is because in an interview, an answer is just as challenging to produce…

Mencolek (Indonesian). You know that old trick where you tap someone lightly on the opposite shoulder from behind to fool them? That’s what this word describes. I love doing this in an interview; these are questions that we ask to back check what someone said earlier in the interview.  Yep, some of us do listen to what you say, put a neat little bow around it, and unwrap it when needed. Tap, tap…

Faamiti (Samoan). To make a squeaking sound by sucking air past the lips in order to gain the attention of a dog or child. I’ve never done this in any HR situation. Perhaps at the next career fair when I see you speaking to one of my competitors…

Glas wen (Welsh). A smile that is insincere or mocking; literally, a blue smile. Sure, we’ll get back to you within two business days to discuss the next step in the interviewing process…

Bakku-shan (Japanese). The experience of seeing a woman who appears pretty from behind but not from the front (there must be a form of the phrase that pertains to men). In recruit-speak, someone who looks great on paper but couldn’t describe in detail anything they’ve accomplished in detail beyond what’s on the resumé. Beware of anyone who claims, “This person looks great on paper.” A corollary is “good from far, far from good.”

Boketto (Japanese). It’s nice to know that the Japanese think enough of the act of gazing vacantly into the distance without thinking to give it a name. From time to time, it’s how I felt while interviewing someone; sorry, it’s a fact – anyone who’s spent time in recruiting has those interviews where death is the only option (the recruiter’s). More often than not, it’s not the candidate but the recruiter who’s Boketto’ing. You have to know when to call it a day…

Kummerspeck (German). Excess weight gained from emotional overeating; literally, grief bacon. Typically caused by hiring managers who signed a Service Level Agreement then reneged on the terms during the 11^th hour. Also as a result of that perfect candidate dumping you at the altar for a competitor (which is not as bad as deciding to stay where they are).  Now where’s that bag of potato chips?

If you couldn’t tell, I had fun with this one…