Recruiting

All posts tagged Recruiting

A Recruiter’s Night Before Christmas

Posted by Steve on December 24, 2013
Posted in: Recruiting. Tagged: , , , , . 1 Comment

‘Twas the night before Christmas and somewhere online
A recruiter was puzzling over which webpage to mine
With visions of revenues and managers content
This recruiter was no ordinary Clark Kent

Dark horn-rimmed glasses covered his eyes
He was better than any of the CIA’s spies
His fingers were dancing on his silent keyboard
Looking for instances of names he could hoard

His Boolean strings would always impress
As he “courted” attendees with ext:xls
But this one was special for it peered behind walls
And directories flowed like Niagara Falls

Soon with a glimmer, his eyes they did see
Purple squirrels were everywhere and they were all “free”
So he whistled and smiled and started to click
He foraged through spreadsheets, waiting for St. Nick

Now Robert, now Gerald, now Vicki and Joan
You’re mine to engage, my client’s to own!
Dash away, dash away from your current employer!
They sure won’t be happy and they’ll hire a lawyer

The Recruiter sipped at his Starbucks Green Tea
Peered at his bounty, and jiggled with glee
Software Developers in all flavors and levels
“Which one?” he wondered would be called by this Devil?

There’s Python and Java and Ruby galore
.NET and C# from stateside and offshore
PHP mavens, C++ too
So many to choose from, so many to woo

Links are all over, from code repos to blogs
Burning bright like a sunset, a sourcing Yule Log!
Clicking up and then down, the mouse is on fire
He furrows his brow that has started to perspire

On Github! On Snipt! On gerrit! On Snippr!
There’s code to read for this evil name flipper
Come Ohloh! Come SourceForge! Come grepcode! Come Krugle!
It’s time now to deep dive with Bing or with Google.

Of course these developers had names that were hidden
And normal URL play was expressly forbidden
He cracked all his knuckles and rubbed his two palms
Typed into his keyboard, namechk.com

Most developers think that recruiters are stupid
Yet their Forum posts’ code name is used on OkCupid
While many headhunters still post and still pray
This one is an hour from heading your way

With code snippets and web mapping the next step is easy
It’s time for an email that isn’t “sales sleazy”
The Subject line message is designed to amuse
It’s all about Marketing with a soupçon of schmooze

He first tells her how he knows how she feels
That Recruiting is filled with slippery eels
With people who’ll lie about their skills and connections
And use “love” as a means to gain their affections

He then offers the process by which she was found
Including strategies and Booleans (this always astounds)
How her Forum posts shined light on her community actions
How her Tweets and her blog posts garnered reactions

“I hope you don’t mind but your Forum posts rock”
“On multithreading techniques that go beyond ‘lock’ “
“I’ve researched your Tweets and the way you help others”
“It’s like all other coders are your sisters and brothers”

Nowhere in this missive did he mention a role
As typical of most other recruiting trolls
He asked if she thought of her career in three years
And if she had any professional fears

“I know this looks like advanced cyber stalking”
“But all that I want is for us to start talking”
“I understand if my words weird you out”
“So feel free to delete it if you have any doubt”

Checking it twice for grammar and spelling
He knew that his message was very compelling
For all his years spent in the technology sector
He knew programmers had finely tuned bullshit detectors

The hourly chime of an old coo-coo clock
Combined with a poignant concerto from Bach
Meant it was time for these emails to go
Looking out of his window, it started to snow

He smiled as they went, one by one, on their way
He knew that his targets would soon have their day
They’d wonder then chuckle at the email received
Full of facts and concerns, they weren’t being deceived

As he shut down his Mac, he wondered some more
Why so many people think recruiters are whores
It just isn’t hard to do what is right
There’s no need for headhunters to cause such a fright

He thought to himself, each person’s unique
It doesn’t matter if they’re in sales or a geek
Each has their own pathway to their career
It’s our job to know this and diminish their fear

He smiled once again for he knew very soon
He’d hear from this woman and her email would swoon
“This is the best email I ever received from a recruiter”
“It doesn’t sound like one from a self-serving suitor”

One day very soon he’ll pick up the phone
And speak with a coder whom last week was unknown
They’ll talk about pathways, careers unrequited
And working for companies with cultures so blighted

Maybe they’ll find that they’re ready to move
Maybe he has opportunities of which they’ll approve
Or maybe not – but that’s okay too
For a recruiting relationship is about to ensue

As he left his home office and turned out the light
He thought, ‘Merry Christmas to recruiters who know what is right’

Your Resume Sucks and Your Momma Dresses You Funny (REDUX)

Posted by Steve on June 18, 2012
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: , , . 6 Comments

Here’s another blast from the past, a few sage words of advice for jobseekers previously posted anonymously because I guess it might have been viewed as overly harsh, crass, or just plain cranky. Cranky notwithstanding (it really is the kind of rant recruiters have when they’re around other recruiters), job seekers would be surprised how many inquiries recruiters receive from people, that at first glance (and often second, third, and fourth glances) are destined for the NO pile. Even more, job seekers would be further astonished as to how many people seem to do their very best to sabotage their interview by “dress and breath” errors alone.

Read on – and yes, these are real example…

I hate your resume.

Your billboard size name? It’s like wearing a big shirt over your fat belly. Guess what? You’re still fat. Hate it.

References will be furnished upon request? Uh, no shit. Hate it.

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE: – underlined, emboldened, and with a colon after it? Makes me (a) want to look for AMATEUR EXPERIENCE and (b) wonder if the person has an endless supply of ink cartridges. Hate it.

Ending some sentences with a period and others without it? Make up your mind and delete that “strong attention to detail” line. Hate it.

Expert in Microsoft Excell? Give me a break; might as well say you’re detail-orientated? Hate it.

Detail-orientated? Orientated??? It’s “oriented.” Hate it.

Salmon colored paper? Heck, fancy paper of any kind. Waste of money. Hate it.

Spelling out acronyms? Do you think I’m a moron? Unless you’re coming right out of the military (these are AEHs…Acronyms from Hell), you do not need to parenthetically explain every acronym. Hate it.

Periods between letters of the acronym? See above. Hate it.

Italics. For the entire resume? Try <Shift-I> every so often. Hate it.

MS-DOS on your resume? Nothing says “old” more than mentioning something that is long dead and gone. Hate it.

Pictures of little puppy dogs instead of bullets? And you want to be a CFO? Are you kidding me? Hate it.

Writing “Email” before your email? Well, thank you for letting me know it’s your email. Hate it.

Emails with “69”, babydoll, etc. in it? Might as well hold up an “L” to your forehead. Hate it.

And while I’m telling you about everything you do that I hate – interviews. Let’s go there.

Boobs are nice but put those puppies away for a professional interview.

Pants hanging halfway down your derriere? For an interview? You really don’t want this job.

Fishnet stockings might help catch fish but aren’t of much use when catching jobs.

Guys, did you really have to use half a tube of hair gel?

Cologne and perfume showers? Are you trying to asphyxiate me???

Windsor knots that look like goiters? Didn’t your Daddy teach you to tie a real knot?

Toothbrush + Toothpaste – Coffee Breath (also, curry, garlic) Residuals = Happy Recruiter

Get the picture? KISS: Your resume is about detailing your past performance (including the specific problems you’ve solved), your legacy, and specific skills. Anything more than this is distracting to those of us who read hundreds of resume every day. And unless we tell you that our company is a place where you can let your hair down (or show that tattoo on your “girls”), be a free spirit on your own time. Please… help us and we’ll help you.

Refer and Double

Posted by Steve on May 25, 2012
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: , , . 3 Comments

Talk to any company having difficulty recruiting people with special talents and invariably they’ll come to one conclusion that their employee referral program isn’t “rich” enough and that doubling the referral bonus will ensure that the names of great people will suddenly come be streaming into HR.

Are you kidding me?

The core problem is, of course, how the referral request is made and this is directly related to the position title and its job description. Here’s what most employees hear when approached for referrals…

Do you know any software developers who might want to work here?

Typical response:

“Uh, not off the top of my head but let me think about it.”

Doubling the referral bonus might get them to a different response level:

“Not off the top of my head but let me think about it.”

At a later date I’ll get into the actual tactical elements of my preferred employee referral program but for today, I want to focus on a piece that is missing in all programs I’ve ever heard about (obviously I can’t be everywhere so if this is done somewhere I’d like to know about it): The performance incentive factor.

I think it’s downright silly that companies pay large sums of money ($5K-$10K) for “hard to find” people only tied to 91 days of tenure. Like investing in Facebook stock on the first day of its IPO silly.

Ponder this: For every employee hired through a referral program, develop 180 day performance objectives and if the employee hits these, double the referral payment to the referring employee AND give the referred employee some kind of bonus.

How would this fly in your company?

Why most recruiters suck and what you can do about it

Posted by Steve on May 1, 2012
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: , , . 59 Comments

Jason Buss posted a barn burner over on TalentHQ, “Are All Heads of HR and HR Departments Filled With Idiots?” – his facts are spot on and they should make everyone a wee bit angry. I’m a performance person when it comes to recruiting – I’m going to ask you about solving problems and I could care less if you’re pregnant, have a vacation scheduled, or are skilled at brown nosing. If you can solve the problems I’m hiring you to solve you’ll be moved on; if you can’t, you won’t.

What follows is a post I wrote anonymously for “someone else” – somewhat tongue-in-cheek but with a great deal of fact behind it (Jason – you know how the spies are going to drool over this post!) – and with some advice on how job seekers can counteract the actions of some recruiters and level the playing field. Let me know what you think…

For the most part, the recruiting profession is comprised of people who have also sold used cars, been mortgage brokers, or have engaged in multi-level marketing schemes. I mean, what else can that degree in poly sci do when you have a 2.6 GPA and suck at taking LSATs? The people in our profession who are really great don’t find recruiting, recruiting finds them. Big difference.

These people are self-professed experts at post-and-pray – posting a job on a job board and hoping someone good applies – and could care less that they know nothing about the real job other than what is given to them by some low-level peon contract recruiter at a company. If they’re lucky enough to find some dumbass corporate recruiter who is equally inept at finding talent, they’ll make a placement – imagine a 20% fee for a minimal amount of work! It’s almost as good as being a US Senator!

From here, a little success begins to swell their heads – they start thinking that they can actually tell whether someone is good or not simply by reading the person’s resume. This is such a pathetic extension of a little bit of success considering that so few great people have resumes that accurately tell you what they do.

Even worse is when these crappy recruiters start believing they have some innate ESP like ability to sense a good candidate. A dios mio – these people are the same folks who go through relationships like Lindsey Lohan goes through drug counselors! Oh yeah, they’re really good at sensing things…

It gets worse – and I’m certain our dear Hush Recruiter readers have experienced things like these…

The crappy recruiter views the equally crappy job description as the job. If you ask them about budgets, or to whom the position reports, or what specific problems you’ll be working on, they’ll refer back to the job description and ask you if you’re questioning their abilities.

The crappy recruiter asks you to assess your skills in a particular area and then takes your word for it without delving deeper – this is because they do not have the ability to assess your abilities.

The crappy recruiter looks at your years of experience – as light as they might be – and despite the fact that you actually have expertise in the area in question, toss you aside because you don’t fall into the years-of-experience bracket on the piece-of-shit job spec.

The crappy recruiter continuously refers to the company as my client and refuses to divulge the name of it. They do this because they’re afraid you might go around them and go directly to the company (and these recruiters typically brag about their great relationship with their client and gush about how many years they’ve worked closely with them).

The crappy recruiter makes short thrift of your interview if they believe you won’t make them money…they’re curt on the phone with you if you try to have a conversation with them. God forbid you try and ask them questions about a job where they have an exclusive but no details!

The crappy recruiter brings you in for an interview but instead of focusing on you, asks questions about your current employer (I need to know your current org chart so I can find the best spot for you in another company), who you’ve been interviewing with and the names of the people who have interviewed you (leads), and the names of your references before you’ve even gone further in the process (more leads). Does the name Bob Quarter come to mind. ;)

I could go on but I want to tell you what you can do about these miscreants whose techniques, knowledge and ethics are nothing more than our professions’ version of a miasma of methane…

If you’re currently working, a call from a recruiter can be a career-altering event. When the crappy recruiter calls you and refers to the job description as the job, before you agree to send them your resume, demand the answers to questions about P&L/budgets, size of the organization, revenue, size of the organization you’d be part of, specific problems you’ll be asked to solve…you know, the basics. Alas, the crappy recruiter will insist that you send your resume before you receive answers. STOP RIGHT THERE! Would you pay for a car without knowing which car you were buying? Blindly buy a house? Jump off a cliff because someone told you to? Be sure to remind them you are working, are quite good at assessing opportunities provided you have all the details, and won’t be able to continue this discussion without these. Then wait until the crappy recruiter speaks. Or huffs away and mutters something about your attitude. Ooooh, I’m sorry Crappy Recruiter that I didn’t genuflect in your presence.

When the crappy recruiter asks superficial questions about your skills and experiences, you aren’t doing yourself any good by being silent. There’s nothing wrong about telling them they haven’t asked you how you solve specific problems; be warned – they might come back at you and say that what you’ll do is in the job description. Just look at them with your best golden retriever look (you know, head tilted to the side with a what-are-you-talking-about look on your face) then say, “Okay; then…”

  • I’d like to tell you how I was able to reduce DSO by 20% over a 6 month period.
  • I’d like to tell you how I saved my fraternity $5000 during the time I was the chapter’s Treasurer.
  • I’d like to tell you how I survived my CFO, CEO, and head of HR bombarding me with requests to edit their PowerPoint presentations just before an all-hands meeting of the company.

When the crappy recruiter is adamant about experience over expertise, ask them to describe the problems that the more experienced person will be asked to solve…then explain to them how you’ve already done it. If they continue to say dumb stuff like, “I’m sorry but the job requires 7-10 years of experience and you only have 5…” don’t retreat but ask them to explain how the problems you have solved are different than the problems you would be solving if hired.

When the crappy recruiter refers to the company as my client and refuses to divulge the name of it, first ask them if there is someone in the position who isn’t aware that the company is recruiting for their replacement. If this is the case, it really is a “confidential” search: If the incumbent knew they were being replaced, who knows how hairy the situation would become. But if the recruiter’s tone is even a wee bit arrogant, then you can be sure that they’re playing a power game. In this case, tell them – with nary a hint of arrogance – that you’ll be happy to inform them of your employer only when they tell you the name of their client. For sure they might tell you to get the heck out but at least you’ll be confident knowing that you got their goat. And on the way out, don’t forget to tell them that you plan on telling all your friends about them!

When the crappy recruiter makes short thrift of your interview because they believe you won’t make them money, you need to turn up the dial on your Recruiter Control skills. Yes, you do and should have control: This is where you take the reins and ensure that you aren’t being used, abused, or minimized. Don’t be mean but do be firm:

  • You told me that I’m not a fit but can you describe to me the specific elements of fit your client has asked you to consider and assess?
  • You told me that my experiences are not applicable but can you describe for me the specific problems I will be asked to solve?

When the crappy recruiter brings you in for an interview but instead of focusing on you, plies you for information about your search, your current employer, etc. – they are using you! You know how parents instruct their kids to not talk to strangers? When crappy recruiters do this to you, run for your life to the nearest exit. Unless you want to have fun with them…then make up names, titles, and phone numbers for people you’ve “met”. To finish it off, tell them how fortunate you were to have found them and that you’ll be sure to recommend them to your friends. Tee hee…

While you might think that recruiters hold the keys to your next job, in reality they cannot function without great candidates. You are seeking a partnership not a one-nighter where all is forgotten the next day with the exception of the very bad taste in your mouth. Great recruiters want the very same thing – a very long relationship where one hand washes the other. But to make it happen you have to be knowledgeable and active; you have to control the interview and not become a pawn used by a crappy recruiter with an equally crappy conscience.

So stop whining about crappy recruiters and do something about them.

Getting Creative with God

Posted by Steve on March 16, 2010
Posted in: Creative, Recruiting. Tagged: , , , , . 2 Comments

He has a baritone voice whose sound waves can actually force you to pee. He wears the same burgundy long sleeve shirt, dark yet faded jeans, and on his easily size 16 feet, nearly perfectly white but untied sneakers. His eyes are bright and he is very polite.

He also steps into the same car of the same Downtown 1 train at the same time every day – the one I usually take. By now, we even say “good morning” to each other.

Except that he’s a beggar.

He begins his sales pitch by apologizing to all for the inconvenience, asks for help, and ends by offering all, “God Bless You.” He is very pleasant, not the least bit intimidating, and people do give him money (yes, I’ve bought coffee for him).

He gets it done.

But then I started thinking this week…could a recruiter use a similar approach as a means to both source quality people and obtain business? Where I train to is a route that is highly professional and technical and with a suit and a big ol’ smile on my face, I really believe I can make this work…

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m sorry for disturbing your commute this morning but I will neither ask you for money nor will I ask you for food. You see, I am a recruiter, and I realize that the Lord makes job boards for those who do not believe in the 10 Commandments of Recruiting. My company, MTM Technologies, is a national Information Technology VAR – a value added reseller – that specializes in virtualization, unified communication, and managed services. I recruit talented techies to our clients for both contract and direct hire positions. Should you be skilled in any of these areas or know someone who is, I would appreciate it if you would take my business card and share it with those who believe.”

“If you’re interested in speaking with me, you may call me 24/7 or if you’re shy, send me an email. If you are a hiring manager, I can assure you I have more creative techniques I will use to find you the people you need.”

“Finally, should you be interested in virtualization, UC or managed services solutions, let me know and I will have one of our account executives contact you.”

“God Bless You and have a nice day.”

I really think this could work (just need someone to film it)…